Do you know what it is to have a BFF? I know the sound of a grown woman saying BFF is just a little strange in itself. But, that is exactly what I am talking about; a BFF, a Best Friend Forever! Doesn’t it seem strange to you that a grown woman would be using such a childish word for such a deep meaningful relationship? Well, that is just it! You see I do have a BFF! Her name is Kathy. Kathy is my very first BFF and I didn’t even meet her until I was 30. But, I can talk to Kathy about anything and she is still my friend. I can be myself, and sometimes it’s not very pretty, and she is still my friend. You see Kathy was God’s gift to me! He knew I needed a friend, I had been asking Him for one. I was asking for a friend who was Godly, a friend I could just be myself around and that would always be there, a friend who would help me grow closer to Him and that I could share my walk with. And boy did He ever deliver.
Just last week, Kathy and I took a “Girl’s Get-a-Way” trip. Wooo Hoooo!! Amish country, no husbands, no kids, just two good friends and SHOPPING!! We talked and talked and talked some more! I literally, at times, felt like a teenage girl. We stayed in a room with two twin beds and had tucked in for the night. We talked and giggled, and giggled and talked. It brought back visions of my own two daughters who were supposed to be going to bed and all we, John and I, heard was giggle after giggle. I kept thinking this must be how my girls felt, so free, so full of joy, so loved. Now, I’m wishing I wouldn’t have knocked on the wall and yelled, “Girls get to sleep! Dad has to work in the morning!” I’m thankful that Kathy and I didn’t have hotel staff or people in the next room knocking on the wall and yelling at us to quit giggling and get to sleep.
Kathy and I had some really deep, emotional conversations too. You know the type, where we are talking about someone else who’s not there and we are talking about how they have hurt us. Sometimes the hurt is just small and sometimes the hurt is very deep. At points maybe someone else, if anyone else would have been around and overheard, would have thought we were gossiping. We even had a conversation about if there were subjects that God would not want us to discuss with each other, because maybe it would be considered gossip.
So, where is the line? What makes your talk with your BFF, or anyone else for that sake, gossip? Are you at gossip?
Why is it that I feel the need to talk to Kathy anyway? Shouldn’t I just be praying about and for those that hurt me and won’t that make it all better? Maybe I just want to talk to Kathy and get out all that hurt and have someone else who will agree with me about how they deserve to be hurt back? Is my intention when talking to Kathy to hurt those I speak about? Is that your intention? Are we at gossip? We are all born with a sin nature and being hurt by someone is a sure way to have that nature pop its ugly head right out and begin to take control.
So why is it then that we talk to our BFFs? Is it to allow our sin nature a little control? Or is it to rally the troops and battle against our sin nature and wage war? Not war against the person who hurt us, but war against our own sin nature.
You see God tells us in Proverbs 20:18 that we are to use counsel of others to establish plans and it is by the wise guidance that we are able to wage war. And then He tells us in Proverbs 24:6, “for by wise guidance you can wage war, and in abundance of counselors there is victory.” The war is not always a physical battle; it can be emotional or even spiritual. Who would wage any war without a plan, without others to help be sure the plan is a victorious one?
So the next time I am hurt by someone and I am at WAR with my ugly sin nature, the next time I want to GOSSIP and hurt those who have hurt me; I will be calling on Kathy to help me come up with my battle plan and wage war against my sin nature and come out victoriously treating all others with the love that God has shown me. God knows He has given us a tough job and I certainly cannot do it alone. I need God’s daily help and the help He has given me in other godly people, such as Kathy. She has my back and I have hers; who has your back? Are you at gossip or at war?
My prayer today is that you each of you will truly know what it is to have a godly BFF. If you haven’t found them yet, pray that God will send them your way. Because it is through our daily dependence on Him and in the gift He has given us in godly BFFs that we have the tools to be at war instead of at gossip.