How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth! Psalm 119:103

Saturday, March 19, 2011

She Hopes

She Wonders. I wonder what it is that God wants to do through my life. I have spent many years of my life just wondering, so to speak. Feeling unsettled. Nothing in life has seemed to leave me feeling fulfilled. I have lived most if not all of my life with a feeling that I really just didn’t matter. That nothing I did or said in this world made a bit of difference. For the most part, I just existed.

She Mothers. At the young age of 17, I became pregnant. For a short time, I felt that I finally had someone that I would always matter to. Yet, it became just another situation in life that seemed to swallow me. Try as I might, no matter how much I wanted to be a great mom, still there were the feelings that nothing I did mattered. Oh, my little girl grew and knew she was loved and we survived life together, but, I just never felt like I was secure in my role as a mother.

She Believes. Jesus knocked on my heart one day as I sit in a little church that I had only attended a few times. I answered His knock and my world changed. There was a hole that was now filled. I thought my life was complete. No more feelings of just existing or not mattering, because I was now God’s child.

She Marries. But, God had more in mind. This girl met her boy, and his two kids. This is it! Now I know that my life is going to leave me fulfilled. I mean I have my daughter, I have Christ, and I have a husband and two more kids. What more could a girl ask for?

She Studies. But, God still had more. He began to tug at my heart and place me in situations that made it very clear to me that He wanted me to do more. I enrolled in college and began perusing a degree in Religion and Business. He has not only called me to obtain the degree to help others but, He is using the studies to grow me in my relationship with Him.

She Speaks. One of the situations that God has placed me in and used to confirm to me that He has placed a call on my life to serve Him in a deeper way is the She Speaks Conference. Through a series of God orchestrated events last year, I found myself attending the 2010 She Speaks conference. She Speaks is a Proverbs 31 Ministries event which empowers, teaches, leads and encourages women in the calling that God has placed on their lives to Speak, Write, and Lead for Him. Imagine 600 ladies completely taking over a hotel, meeting, learning, singing, and praising God all together; what a powerful, powerful time. Decisions are made, contacts are secured, callings confirmed. The entire conference is led by God through an amazing group of women.

She Leads. After returning home from the conference last year, I thought once again, this is it! God wants me to be a speaker. It is His story that is woven in my life story and He wants me to share it. Lisa Harper says it this way, “My mess is becoming my message”. He has given me a message and He wants me to share it. Once again, I must say…but God. I know God still has more in store for me. Just today, I sat with three precious ladies as we attended a spring retreat. I saw in real tangible ways God impacting their lives, healings taking place. It hit me; I do mean something in life. Not because of me. But, because of whom I follow. None of those three ladies would have been there if I had not invited them. I invited them because God has asked me to begin a ladies ministry at my church. It is so humbling and yet exciting at the same time to know that God used me in a very real way to impact these three sweet ladies.

She Prays. So, here it is, time for the 2011 She Speaks conference. I know that there is still more “but God” moments to come in my life. She Speaks is one of those times and it is in front of me at this very moment. God has asked me to go once again. I am still a full time college student, a wife, a mom and a grandma, there is little time for work and therefore, little funds available. Proverbs 31 Ministries is completely devoted to helping women in their speaking, writing, and leading ministries. As an example of how devoted they are, a few of the gals are giving away scholarships for the conference. So now I pray that God will provide a way for me to attend; whether it is through this scholarship or through other means, I know He will answer my prayer and provide.

She Thanks. I thank God, for always being there right beside me even when I did not acknowledge Him. For using me, someone who is far from perfect, someone who has never felt important, someone who has never been good enough to serve Him, for allowing me to witness His work in other’s lives, and most of all, for saving me.

She Asks. This is just a small part of the story that God has written through my life, and I feel the story has really just begun. What about you? How does your story begin? What is God asking you to do in following Him? If He is asking you to attend She Speaks, you can find out more information by visiting Please pray. Please follow Christ. And, please think about how your story begins.

She ……

Please visit Renee Swope's blog for more information on this scholarship opportunity