She Hopes

She Wonders. I wonder what it is that God wants to do through my life. I have spent many years of my life just wondering, so to speak. Feeling unsettled. Nothing in life has seemed to leave me feeling fulfilled. I have lived most if not all of my life with a feeling that I really just didn’t matter. That nothing I did or said in this world made a bit of difference. For the most part, I just existed.

She Mothers. At the young age of 17, I became pregnant. For a short time, I felt that I finally had someone that I would always matter to. Yet, it became just another situation in life that seemed to swallow me. Try as I might, no matter how much I wanted to be a great mom, still there were the feelings that nothing I did mattered. Oh, my little girl grew and knew she was loved and we survived life together, but, I just never felt like I was secure in my role as a mother.

She Believes. Jesus knocked on my heart one day as I sit in a little church that I had only attended a few times. I answered His knock and my world changed. There was a hole that was now filled. I thought my life was complete. No more feelings of just existing or not mattering, because I was now God’s child.

She Marries. But, God had more in mind. This girl met her boy, and his two kids. This is it! Now I know that my life is going to leave me fulfilled. I mean I have my daughter, I have Christ, and I have a husband and two more kids. What more could a girl ask for?

She Studies. But, God still had more. He began to tug at my heart and place me in situations that made it very clear to me that He wanted me to do more. I enrolled in college and began perusing a degree in Religion and Business. He has not only called me to obtain the degree to help others but, He is using the studies to grow me in my relationship with Him.

She Speaks. One of the situations that God has placed me in and used to confirm to me that He has placed a call on my life to serve Him in a deeper way is the She Speaks Conference. Through a series of God orchestrated events last year, I found myself attending the 2010 She Speaks conference. She Speaks is a Proverbs 31 Ministries event which empowers, teaches, leads and encourages women in the calling that God has placed on their lives to Speak, Write, and Lead for Him. Imagine 600 ladies completely taking over a hotel, meeting, learning, singing, and praising God all together; what a powerful, powerful time. Decisions are made, contacts are secured, callings confirmed. The entire conference is led by God through an amazing group of women.

She Leads. After returning home from the conference last year, I thought once again, this is it! God wants me to be a speaker. It is His story that is woven in my life story and He wants me to share it. Lisa Harper says it this way, “My mess is becoming my message”. He has given me a message and He wants me to share it. Once again, I must say…but God. I know God still has more in store for me. Just today, I sat with three precious ladies as we attended a spring retreat. I saw in real tangible ways God impacting their lives, healings taking place. It hit me; I do mean something in life. Not because of me. But, because of whom I follow. None of those three ladies would have been there if I had not invited them. I invited them because God has asked me to begin a ladies ministry at my church. It is so humbling and yet exciting at the same time to know that God used me in a very real way to impact these three sweet ladies.

She Prays. So, here it is, time for the 2011 She Speaks conference. I know that there is still more “but God” moments to come in my life. She Speaks is one of those times and it is in front of me at this very moment. God has asked me to go once again. I am still a full time college student, a wife, a mom and a grandma, there is little time for work and therefore, little funds available. Proverbs 31 Ministries is completely devoted to helping women in their speaking, writing, and leading ministries. As an example of how devoted they are, a few of the gals are giving away scholarships for the conference. So now I pray that God will provide a way for me to attend; whether it is through this scholarship or through other means, I know He will answer my prayer and provide.

She Thanks. I thank God, for always being there right beside me even when I did not acknowledge Him. For using me, someone who is far from perfect, someone who has never felt important, someone who has never been good enough to serve Him, for allowing me to witness His work in other’s lives, and most of all, for saving me.

She Asks. This is just a small part of the story that God has written through my life, and I feel the story has really just begun. What about you? How does your story begin? What is God asking you to do in following Him? If He is asking you to attend She Speaks, you can find out more information by visiting www.SheSpeaksConference.com. Please pray. Please follow Christ. And, please think about how your story begins.

She ……

Please visit Renee Swope's blog for more information on this scholarship opportunity

What is it like to be Grammy?

The Lord has blessed me with some exciting experiences lately.  I had the complete joy of being there to help coach my daughter along during the delivery of my first grandbaby.  I had the extreme privilege of watching, through tears, as the doctor pulled little Izzee up and showed her to us for the very first time.  No words can describe the very first time you lay eyes on your grandchild.

I have since been asked by several people what it is to be a grandma or Grammy as I’m called.  I always tell them it is completely different than being a mom.

One day my Pastor asked me that very question.  I gave him my usual answer, but he kept pressing me; asking what is it that makes it so different.  I answered that we are older now then when we raised our children and more relaxed, realizing what it is that is most important.  But, still in my heart I knew that was still not the whole answer, but I just couldn’t find the words to express the feeling.

Later that very day as I sat rocking on the front porch, holding my beautiful granddaughter in my lap, and thanking the Lord for blessing me beyond measure.  I spoke these quite words in my heart to the Lord, “Looking into this beautiful face Lord must be the closest thing on earth to seeing Your beautiful face.  The pure beauty, the pure peace and joy, pure happiness and wholeness, the pure relaxation and rest that comes over my body can only be a sliver of what it must be like to be completely in Your presence, looking into Your face.”

Oh, how I long for the day to see Jesus face to face.  But, until then, I’ll keep looking into the face of my grandbaby, and maybe someday grandbabies and praising God from whom all blessings flow, to catch that small sliver of what it might be like to be completely in His presence.

Isn’t that what worship is all about?  Finding what it is that brings you closest to the presence of God.  We can worship through serving God in every aspect of our lives, and we can worship God through acknowledging and appreciating every blessing He bestows on us.

I pray that today you see and acknowledge the blessing in your life, that God has given you to bring you into a closer deeper relationship with Him.  When you do see it, let me know.  I would love to praise Him with you.

Blessings!

Kandee

BFFs: At War or At Gossip...

Do you know what it is to have a BFF?  I know the sound of a grown woman saying BFF is just a little strange in itself.  But, that is exactly what I am talking about; a BFF, a Best Friend Forever!  Doesn’t it seem strange to you that a grown woman would be using such a childish word for such a deep meaningful relationship?  Well, that is just it!  You see I do have a BFF!  Her name is Kathy.  Kathy is my very first BFF and I didn’t even meet her until I was 30.  But, I can talk to Kathy about anything and she is still my friend.  I can be myself, and sometimes it’s not very pretty, and she is still my friend.  You see Kathy was God’s gift to me!  He knew I needed a friend, I had been asking Him for one.  I was asking for a friend who was Godly, a friend I could just be myself around and that would always be there, a friend who would help me grow closer to Him and that I could share my walk with.  And boy did He ever deliver.

Just last week, Kathy and I took a “Girl’s Get-a-Way” trip.  Wooo Hoooo!!  Amish country, no husbands, no kids, just two good friends and SHOPPING!!  We talked and talked and talked some more!  I literally, at times, felt like a teenage girl.  We stayed in a room with two twin beds and had tucked in for the night.  We talked and giggled, and giggled and talked.  It brought back visions of my own two daughters who were supposed to be going to bed and all we, John and I, heard was giggle after giggle.  I kept thinking this must be how my girls felt, so free, so full of joy, so loved.  Now, I’m wishing I wouldn’t have knocked on the wall and yelled, “Girls get to sleep!  Dad has to work in the morning!”  I’m thankful that Kathy and I didn’t have hotel staff or people in the next room knocking on the wall and yelling at us to quit giggling and get to sleep.

Kathy and I had some really deep, emotional conversations too.  You know the type, where we are talking about someone else who’s not there and we are talking about how they have hurt us.  Sometimes the hurt is just small and sometimes the hurt is very deep.  At points maybe someone else, if anyone else would have been around and overheard, would have thought we were gossiping.  We even had a conversation about if there were subjects that God would not want us to discuss with each other, because maybe it would be considered gossip.

So, where is the line?  What makes your talk with your BFF, or anyone else for that sake, gossip? Are you at gossip?

Why is it that I feel the need to talk to Kathy anyway?  Shouldn’t I just be praying about and for those that hurt me and won’t that make it all better?  Maybe I just want to talk to Kathy and get out all that hurt and have someone else who will agree with me about how they deserve to be hurt back?  Is my intention when talking to Kathy to hurt those I speak about?  Is that your intention?  Are we at gossip?  We are all born with a sin nature and being hurt by someone is a sure way to have that nature pop its ugly head right out and begin to take control.

So why is it then that we talk to our BFFs?  Is it to allow our sin nature a little control? Or is it to rally the troops and battle against our sin nature and wage war?  Not war against the person who hurt us, but war against our own sin nature.

You see God tells us in Proverbs 20:18 that we are to use counsel of others to establish plans and it is by the wise guidance that we are able to wage war.  And then He tells us in Proverbs 24:6, “for by wise guidance you can wage war, and in abundance of counselors there is victory.”  The war is not always a physical battle; it can be emotional or even spiritual.  Who would wage any war without a plan, without others to help be sure the plan is a victorious one?

So the next time I am hurt by someone and I am at WAR with my ugly sin nature, the next time I want to GOSSIP and hurt those who have hurt me; I will be calling on Kathy to help me come up with my battle plan and wage war against my sin nature and come out victoriously treating all others with the love that God has shown me.  God knows He has given us a tough job and I certainly cannot do it alone.  I need God’s daily help and the help He has given me in other godly people, such as Kathy.  She has my back and I have hers; who has your back?  Are you at gossip or at war?

My prayer today is that you each of you will truly know what it is to have a godly BFF.  If you haven’t found them yet, pray that God will send them your way.  Because it is through our daily dependence on Him and in the gift He has given us in godly BFFs that we have the tools to be at war instead of at gossip.

Blessings!
Kandee

GPS - global positioning system

Do you have a GPS? I do. I love it! It can take me anywhere. All I have to do is listen to the voice announce the directions and follow. My husband will even listen to the directions when the GPS is giving them. Of course we had to change it to have a male’s voice, because he says he won’t listen to a women giving directions, LOL! But, at least we get where we’re going. Even if we hear the occasional – “recalculating”…“recalculating”, due to a wrong turn, we still get where we’re going.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we had a GPS that guided us through life? Man, it sure would be nice to have directions for life! We could probably think of a million questions we would like to ask our life GPS; Where should I go to school? Should I go to school? Who should I marry? Where should I live? Should I have kids? What church should I attend? Those are just a few; I could go on and on.

I have great news!!!

We do have a GPS for life – GOD’s Positioning System! God has given us His Holy Spirit to lead us through life. All we have to do is listen to His voice and follow. We may not know where He is leading, but if we listen and follow we will get there; even if we hear the occasional, “recalculating”…“recalculating”, we’ll still get there. God knows where we’re going; we just need to listen to His Holy Spirit and follow.

I wanted to attend the ladies retreat held at MVNU earlier this month, but had way too much school work to complete. So, I thought I would have to wait till next year. But, my life GPS was telling me different. I won a set of tickets to the retreat; and so, I went. Speaking at the retreat was Lysa TerKeurst, President of Proverbs 31 Ministries. I went expecting to hear from God, through my life GPS. I went expecting something great from God. And boy did He deliver!!

In the last session of the retreat Lysa told about a conference that is put on by Proverbs 31 Ministries each year. At the instant she even opened her mouth to begin to tell about it, my GPS began to speak. I heard the quiet voice giving directions to my heart. Lysa went on to describe the event as an all women’s conference held in North Carolina, and its purpose is to equip women who are speakers, writers and women’s ministry leaders to better fulfill their ministry callings. My GPS was speaking loud and clear at this point, although my vision was unclear as it was blurred by tears.

Because I have left my career to finish college so that I might serve the Lord in a ministry setting, funding for this conference is not in our budget, not even a little in our budget. But, my life GPS is speaking and my wish is to follow. Now, to be honest, I really don’t know where my life GPS is leading me. And to me that’s ok! I don’t know what plans God has for my life and the ministry I will someday have for Him, but I know that He knows. He tells me so in His Word, “For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

My GPS is saying go, and so my heart is to follow. I am trusting that the Lord will provide the way, so I have already registered and am sooo excited about going and seeing what He has for me to learn!

Please pray for me as I attempt to follow the voice of my life GPS, the Holy Spirit; as I attend the conference and as I discover the position God has in His plan for me.  My prayer is that you will hear and follow your GPS!

You may click here to learn more about the She Speaks conference.

You may click here to learn about a scholarship contest for the She Speaks conference.


Blessings!
Kandee

New Beginnings...

Well, here it is the beginning of my brand new Blog!  WOW!  I am sooo excited! 

Ahhh...the sun is shining and birds are singing.  Spring is almost here.  Spring is a time of new beginnings for so many things.  Trees have new buds, flowers begin to grow, animals are having babies and no more snow. 

What is it about spring that makes us all seem to perk up?  Is it the sense of newness all around?  The green beginning to grow?  Is it the signs of new life, as the baby animals begin to appear?  Is it the sun that begins to shine brighter each and every day?  Or is it simply just that there is no more snow and no more “snirt” (that’s snow & dirt for those without school age children)? 

Ever notice that before something can be new and beautiful there is usually something not so new and beautiful?  This is true with spring.  We have all the left over snow that is dirty from the melting that’s begun.  What was once a beautiful glistening white is now, well, just yucky.  Ever feel like that?  Just yucky!  Even though you have tried everything out there to clean yourself up and make yourself feel better, you just can’t.  You still feel yucky.

Well, today is a new day!  Jesus came to give you a new life!  A life that is full of spring, full of life and growth.  All you have to do is accept it.  Have you accepted Jesus as your friend, your savior?  If not, do it today!  Contact me and I’ll help you pray.  If you have accepted Jesus, then live in your new life, the one that’s like spring – shining the Son brighter and brighter everyday!

Blessings!
Kandee